So I have been back to my martial arts classes since I got back from Lake Havasu last week. I forgot how strenuous they really are, but it's nice to be on the mat again. I truly enjoy training, and I regret that I have not done so for a number of months. It is really nice to be back.
I'm feeling good. I'm eating right, exercising on a fairly strict schedule, and paying attention to what my body needs. I'm sleeping more than I am used to, which is nice. I have been sleeping before ten every night and not getting up until seven in the morning or so...it's amazing what a good amount of sleep will do for you.
I'm watching myself change in the mirror, and it's nice. I'll be posting new pictures soon.
I'm really, really, really sore. I have no regrets, though. It's good for me. I need it to remind me never to get to this point again as long as I live.
For anyone actually checking my blog, sorry for the lack of recent posts.
:D
Friday, August 22, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
P90x
Okay, so I'm fat, out of shape, and I get winded easily going up more than about a single flight of stairs.
Having formerly been a professional fighter, this tub of lard I've been dragging around upsets me immensely.
So I'm starting P90x today, and I'm excited about it. I'm going to post my before pictures here, and I will keep you updated on my progress. Try not to vomit, I know it's not pretty.
Those of you who know me are familiar with the fact that once I make a decision, it's pretty much gospel, and I'm posting this in public forum because I'm committed.
I want to make my wife drool again. :p
Monday, June 30, 2008
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
After far too long working out of town and only being able to see my family on the weekends, I am more aware of the truth of this saying than ever. The absence of the people I love being a part of my daily life makes my heart ache.
The reality of absence is not quite as romantic as the saying suggests, though. I find myself in physical pain at times yearning for my wife, wanting to hold my children, wanting to be an ever present father and husband.
I have been in my love with my wife since the day that I met her. She completes me in ways I had not before her known I needed to be completed. People say that in good relationships, one partner does not ask the other the change. My wife never asked me to change, but her love and support through the years have helped mold me into a man of which I can be proud, instead of the sometimes aggressive juvenile I was until she came into my life.
When I remember the person I was before my wife, I thank God that He put her into my life. She saved me from a cycle of destruction that I firmly believe would never have ended had it not been for God's intervention in bringing her into my life.
There was a point in my existence where it took next to nothing to send me into fits of rage, punching holes in walls and screaming at the top of my lungs. The random drunk person at the local tavern would give me a funny look and I would be in his face in an instant. I am not proud of the person I was, but I am proud of who I am today.
My children mean the world to me. I would go to the ends of the earth to maintain their happiness. I would lay down my life without a moment's hesitation if an unfortunate situation ever arose where I had to make that decision.
I love my family, and I miss them. I miss the daily greeting when I come through the door. I miss that first hug from my wife after a long day at work. I miss having my wife next to me in bed.
Absence is lonely, and I'm glad it will soon be over.
The reality of absence is not quite as romantic as the saying suggests, though. I find myself in physical pain at times yearning for my wife, wanting to hold my children, wanting to be an ever present father and husband.
I have been in my love with my wife since the day that I met her. She completes me in ways I had not before her known I needed to be completed. People say that in good relationships, one partner does not ask the other the change. My wife never asked me to change, but her love and support through the years have helped mold me into a man of which I can be proud, instead of the sometimes aggressive juvenile I was until she came into my life.
When I remember the person I was before my wife, I thank God that He put her into my life. She saved me from a cycle of destruction that I firmly believe would never have ended had it not been for God's intervention in bringing her into my life.
There was a point in my existence where it took next to nothing to send me into fits of rage, punching holes in walls and screaming at the top of my lungs. The random drunk person at the local tavern would give me a funny look and I would be in his face in an instant. I am not proud of the person I was, but I am proud of who I am today.
My children mean the world to me. I would go to the ends of the earth to maintain their happiness. I would lay down my life without a moment's hesitation if an unfortunate situation ever arose where I had to make that decision.
I love my family, and I miss them. I miss the daily greeting when I come through the door. I miss that first hug from my wife after a long day at work. I miss having my wife next to me in bed.
Absence is lonely, and I'm glad it will soon be over.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
A publicly viewable letter to my wife. :D
My dearest and most wonderful wife,
Every day I wake up excited that we were put in the right place at the right time to meet one another. I was never a true believer in destiny until you became a part of my life.
I was in love with you the minute I met you. I felt inexplicably linked to you from the moment we first shared greetings. When you sat next to me with that nervous posture, I was absolutely amazed and befuddled that such a beautiful woman was initiating a conversation with me. I carry that amazement with me every day.
Our life together has not been easy. We have been through some very hard times. When the baby that we were both so excited about was never able to meet us in person, I was absolutely crushed...heartbroken...just broken. I will never forget that child, and grief swells inside of me every time I think of that horrible time...but what hurt me more than my pain was the knowledge that you were hurting.
God always has a plan, I have been told, and I realize that the little boy that He graced us with would not have been who he is had it not been for that crushing event. We never would have known his wonderful little personality and that excited grin he greets us with when we walk into the room. I feel like God gave us our baby back, blessing us with something more wonderful than we could have even hoped for.
I will grieve forever for the child we lost, but I will also be thankful that all of the circumstances that we endured led us to where we are today.
When you were diagnosed with Cushing's, and I contemplated the idea of you having a tumor on your brain, I was absolutely terrified. I did not always act like the overly concerned, panicked husband, but my soul was screaming out to God, begging Him to let you be okay. I tried to be a little too strong through your struggles, and I think I might have unintentionally led you to believe through that feigned strength that I was less concerned than I was. I was dying inside as I prayed that you would be taken care of.
It has not been easy, my love, but regardless of all of the painful things we have endured together, I have never known such happiness even in pain.
You are a gift from God, and I love you more than you can possibly imagine. I love you with my heart and soul.
You are my world, and I am so glad that you choose to be with me every day.
You are wonderful.
Every day I wake up excited that we were put in the right place at the right time to meet one another. I was never a true believer in destiny until you became a part of my life.
I was in love with you the minute I met you. I felt inexplicably linked to you from the moment we first shared greetings. When you sat next to me with that nervous posture, I was absolutely amazed and befuddled that such a beautiful woman was initiating a conversation with me. I carry that amazement with me every day.
Our life together has not been easy. We have been through some very hard times. When the baby that we were both so excited about was never able to meet us in person, I was absolutely crushed...heartbroken...just broken. I will never forget that child, and grief swells inside of me every time I think of that horrible time...but what hurt me more than my pain was the knowledge that you were hurting.
God always has a plan, I have been told, and I realize that the little boy that He graced us with would not have been who he is had it not been for that crushing event. We never would have known his wonderful little personality and that excited grin he greets us with when we walk into the room. I feel like God gave us our baby back, blessing us with something more wonderful than we could have even hoped for.
I will grieve forever for the child we lost, but I will also be thankful that all of the circumstances that we endured led us to where we are today.
When you were diagnosed with Cushing's, and I contemplated the idea of you having a tumor on your brain, I was absolutely terrified. I did not always act like the overly concerned, panicked husband, but my soul was screaming out to God, begging Him to let you be okay. I tried to be a little too strong through your struggles, and I think I might have unintentionally led you to believe through that feigned strength that I was less concerned than I was. I was dying inside as I prayed that you would be taken care of.
It has not been easy, my love, but regardless of all of the painful things we have endured together, I have never known such happiness even in pain.
You are a gift from God, and I love you more than you can possibly imagine. I love you with my heart and soul.
You are my world, and I am so glad that you choose to be with me every day.
You are wonderful.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
New Computer
Things seem like they are starting to work out, finally. I was starting to think the world was caving in on me when things started happening for the better.
The last couple of years have been nothing short of hectic. Between miscarriages, premature babies, and pituitary tumors, it was starting to feel like the chain of unfortunate events was never going to end...but things are definitely looking up.
My work has been going quite well, although they have me working on the surface of the sun in Lake Havasu, Arizona. The average temperature is incredibly high there, but I have been hanging in well.
So, since my last post, I bought a new (to me) car. That had us pretty well tapped when a random check showed up from my insurance company just in time to pay for the computer my company "strongly suggested" I acquire.
Now we actually have a few dollars in the bank and I can work more efficiently in a vehicle that has air conditioning and no transmission issues.
Living right, perhaps?
The last couple of years have been nothing short of hectic. Between miscarriages, premature babies, and pituitary tumors, it was starting to feel like the chain of unfortunate events was never going to end...but things are definitely looking up.
My work has been going quite well, although they have me working on the surface of the sun in Lake Havasu, Arizona. The average temperature is incredibly high there, but I have been hanging in well.
So, since my last post, I bought a new (to me) car. That had us pretty well tapped when a random check showed up from my insurance company just in time to pay for the computer my company "strongly suggested" I acquire.
Now we actually have a few dollars in the bank and I can work more efficiently in a vehicle that has air conditioning and no transmission issues.
Living right, perhaps?
Sunday, June 8, 2008
It's my birthday, and I'll cry if I want to.
It's been a while since my last post, but that is an issue that will not be repeated.
I turn 29 today, and here I sit in front of my computer filled with a brand of dread I've not before experienced. It occurred to me a couple of days ago that I am only 4 years younger than my father was when he died. It also occurred to me that I am now officially too old to try out for American Idol. Most terrifying: I have one more year left before I reach 30.
I know it shouldn't be a big deal, but I remember a time not so long ago when I thought 30 was frigging ANCIENT.
Even better: My car decided it doesn't want to function any more. As I drive for a living, that is a bit of a problem. I found a car that I really like, but I'm about $500 shy of what I need in order to buy it. SUCKS.
So it sort of feels like the world is crashing down around me, and I have no control over it.
I need to go start greeting 5 year old children who are coming to celebrate my daughter's birthday. (She was the gift I received for my birthday five years ago today.)
Anyone got $500 they don't need? lol
I turn 29 today, and here I sit in front of my computer filled with a brand of dread I've not before experienced. It occurred to me a couple of days ago that I am only 4 years younger than my father was when he died. It also occurred to me that I am now officially too old to try out for American Idol. Most terrifying: I have one more year left before I reach 30.
I know it shouldn't be a big deal, but I remember a time not so long ago when I thought 30 was frigging ANCIENT.
Even better: My car decided it doesn't want to function any more. As I drive for a living, that is a bit of a problem. I found a car that I really like, but I'm about $500 shy of what I need in order to buy it. SUCKS.
So it sort of feels like the world is crashing down around me, and I have no control over it.
I need to go start greeting 5 year old children who are coming to celebrate my daughter's birthday. (She was the gift I received for my birthday five years ago today.)
Anyone got $500 they don't need? lol
Thursday, April 3, 2008
MMAMadMan
I just became a contributing blogger for www.fightingdaily.com under the moniker of MMAMadMan, and I am oddly excited about it.
It just gives me an opportunity to talk about my favorite sport and offer my insight (as if I have any) into the sport.
Go read it...if you're an MMA fan. :p
It just gives me an opportunity to talk about my favorite sport and offer my insight (as if I have any) into the sport.
Go read it...if you're an MMA fan. :p
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